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Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Fri Nov 21, 2014 5:28 pm
by DarkMatt

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Image-Leo sez: Here we've round up depraved artwork from all around the globe. While special in its own right, these were made in deplorable conditions, with little to no supervision or advice. Please, if you donate even $5 to the DarkMatt "Build a Better Level" Society, you will be helping the hopes and dreams of little children everywhere. (assuming they're not manchildren) Furthermore, with at least a donation of $20, we'll send them literature on how to not suck at level design and either get good or something better. If it sounds like I'm still treating these tiers like first grader art, that's because we're 50-so levels in and I've yet to see anything even decent. You can help to bring a brighter more intellectual future to kids all around the world with a donation to our charity.

TODAY'S GUEST:
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(Thanks Cobra for being snarky where I can't.)

#30:
Spoiler: show

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Bowser's Final Castle
The bastard who made this: LuigiGamer

Gameplay: 2/5
Aesthetics: 3/5
wonder how say englsh Bonus: 2/5

FINAL SCORE: 2.33

DarkMatt sez:Flashy layer movement tricks and gimmicks you don't capitalize on won't make your level any better. This wasn't an explicitly bad level, but its pacing at times was very slow and some of the rooms had really stupid challenges. I mean, sure, you do have a way with events, but I don't see them being used to their full potential, just used to add bells and whistles to a blase castle.

Cobra sez:Interesting concept, decent music. However, marred by horrendous dialogue (and spelling), as well as seriously questionable design choices (such as the double Roto-discs, or the lava fake-out). Also, why Bowser so blue?

#29:
Spoiler: show

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The Floating Cargoship
The bastard who made this: Fwusha medias

Gameplay: 3/5
Aesthetics: 3/5
Daybreak Bonus: 2/5 (Or: Fucking Having to use Bob-Ombs to break open walls bonus)

FINAL SCORE: 2.66

DarkMatt sez:I thought I was going to play a cool airship level but it turns out that's half the level. The other half is okay, except for WHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO USE SMB3 BOB-OMBS TO CLEAR THIS WALL THIS IS NOT FUN ESPECIALLY WHEN THERE'S A LINE OF BRICKS WITH COINS IN THE WAY. As for the aesthetics, I generally like it, but why did you have to change question blocks and pipes into something to "fit in" with the airship theme? There was no need for you to do so. Aside from those quirks and "oh it's daytime now" this level wasn't half bad.

Cobra sez:Just what we all needed. Another airship level with no real theme or sense of fun. And why not add a flying or jumping to the Boom-Boom? By the way, IWBTG called. They want their simultanious spike-dodge jumps back.

#28:
Spoiler: show

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Larry Koopa's Big Gay Blaze
The bastard who made this: koolkat

Gameplay: 3/5
Aesthetics: 2/5
Color Scheme Bonus: 2/5

FINAL SCORE: 2.33

DarkMatt sez:Yes I love how everything looks like black and red, not to mention a couple graphical glitches just to really nail down how bad this looks. You wanna try using actual colors next time instead of making everything "dark" and "fire"? As for the level itself, 's alright, except for slow lowering lava with having to stand on donut blocks and dodge koopas. That could've been executed much, much better, and generally be less of a slog and more engaging.

Cobra sez:Let's see... Drained colors, obstacles you can't see falling, a far-too overpowered boss, and a kaizo trap to top it all off. My eyes are still bleeding from the spike-lava hurdles room.

#27:
Spoiler: show

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Snow Brick Fortress
The bastard who made this: RarePairGaming

Gameplay: 2/5
Aesthetics: 2/5
One of Every Hard Enemy Bonus: 2/5

FINAL SCORE: Image

DarkMatt sez:A lackluster graphical theme to mask the plainest castle level. SO PLAIN, in fact, that the author could not figure out how to challenge the player, and had to rely on using the "hard enemies used by amateurs", that is, Lava Lotii, Venus Piranhas, Rinka Generators, and Hammer Brothers, because he cannot figure out how the fuck to challenge the player himself. A level like this at this sort of place is insulting, really. You niggers found this fun?

Cobra sez:I might not have seen all of the first section, due to a repetition-caused coma. "Hey RarePair?! What should we do for the next four sections?!" | "Uhh... just use Ctrl-C and Ctrl-V a bunch. No one'll mind. And don't worry about the boss. I'll just make a generic back and forth fight with a few turrets that are really easy to dodge. LEVEL OF THE YEAR HERE I COME!"

#26:
Spoiler: show

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Toads Gone Wild: Best of Sex in Sin City
The bastard who thought I wasn't gonna make this joke: Zant

Gameplay: 3/5
Aesthetics: 4/5
Toad Bonus: 2/5

FINAL SCORE: 3

DarkMatt sez:So, almost 50 levels in, here is a level I want to give a 3 to. The graphics style is actually somewhat neat, the level actually varies its object and enemy placement, and there's some neat ideas for enemies in there. On the other hand, this is short, shell in the face, and a couple other nitpicks that I won't share.

Cobra sez:New sprites are... "unique". However, with no level variance, no real challenge, and nothing more than a sprite change for the enemies, I believe the actual title should be "Designer Gone AWOL".

#25:
Spoiler: show

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Underground Street
The bastard who made this: Frozen

Gameplay: 3/5
Aesthetics: 4/5
Custom Player Bonus: 3/5

FINAL SCORE: 3.33

DarkMatt sez:This theme both works and doesn't work. The core graphics like the ladders, ground, barrels, coin blocks, and background really work well together. The extra decorations, hoever, like the wonky ass webs, SMB3 wooden blocks, and our modded player, subtract from it. As for the level, the only thing that kept Gameplay from getting the 4 was rather bad pacing. It got really slow waiting for slow enemies at times, and I'm supposed to be going fast.

Cobra sez:One day, this level will decide what it wants to be when it grows up. And then we will execute it in the public square.

#24:
Spoiler: show

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Scarlet Spatial Sewers
The bastard who made this: Sux
(By the way: the fire in that screenshot instakills you. Enjoy!)
Gameplay: 2/5
Aesthetics: 3/5
Conjoined Twins Bonus: 2/5

FINAL SCORE: 2.33

DarkMatt sez:Why, oh why, oh why did you think blending two completely different graphical themes into one level was a good idea? You have a nice airship theme and a nice sewer theme, and then you ruin both by cross-contaminating. Furthermore, this level has really bad ideas: that fire in that screenshot, you can fuck up raising lava, spike platforms because why, I thought square lava was bad but then I saw square water, and while the themes look good if split apart, the level gimmicks are rather haphazard and strown all over the place.

Cobra sez:You have entered a realm where fairness and good programming don't exist. A realm where random words equal a story. A realm where themes switch back and forth as rapidly as someone pressing the channel button on a TV. You have entered... The Spatial Zone.

#23:
Spoiler: show

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Death Valley
The bastard who made this: Little Boo
(I swear to god this is Mario music that's why I keep on fucking hearing it in volcano levels.)
Gameplay: 3/5
Aesthetics: 3/5
On a Boat Bonus: 2/5

FINAL SCORE: 2.66

DarkMatt sez:An all-around okay level that, if one chopped off the first half of this level and just extended the second, would've gotten bigger points. The first half of the level is quite the mess of enemies and graphics. It's like this person had no idea what he was doing until halfway when he hit upon a good idea. The same applies aesthetically as well; the graphics went all over the place until the halfway point and then suddenly it found consistency, albeit at the cost of being a clusterfuck at times. That and general fine-tuning (the skull raft bugs out because moving enemies on moving blocks) would make this level really good, but where it's at now isn't bad.

Cobra sez:"Death Valley" is right. Certainly killed all my expectations and wants to ever see it again. Surprisingly soaked (if with lava) for a desert. Furthermore, this isn't Giant Land. Dial back the mega-sprites before the food economy is wrecked.

#22:
Spoiler: show

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Deepsea Ruins
The bastard who made this: ap3jmpt

Gameplay: 3/5
Aesthetics: 3/5
Happy-Happyism Bonus: 3/5

FINAL SCORE: 3

DarkMatt sez:This art style is something. It's the bluest shit I've played, but it doesn't go completely overboard with the blue. There's some pieces of this theme that ISN'T colored blue and that's the only way it's not diving into the "a+ coloring" category. As for the level itself, it had a lot of neat ideas but no real way to make any of them last, except for the Jelectro section. I didn't feel like there was any real gimmick to the level, and it just pulled out whatever it could to make each section of the level interesting beyond what it's suppose to be.

Cobra sez:A perfect example of a level copying its designer. Just like the level, the designer is in the dark, boring, no fun to be around, and pretty much worthless in the end.

#21:
Spoiler: show

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This Level Has Extended Castle Graphics
The bastard who made this: Christian07

Gameplay: 3/5
Aesthetics: 4/5
Castle Bonus: 2/5

FINAL SCORE: 3

DarkMatt sez:This really has a lot of similarities to another level I played back in the previous DMPYLAIY. This accomplishes quite a bit with its graphics and it has quite the considerable length, but some parts of the levels I did not like going through. F'instance, what is the point of getting the Dragon Coins? I never like the idea of wasting a bunch of time just to maybe get a life? Why was there TWO WATER SECTIONS THAT WERE BY DEFINITION THE SAME? Fuck the boss fight. The level design aesthetically goes a tad off the rails at times. And I don't like your application of bowser statues because it tends to be a bit of a clusterfuck trying to get past them. Other than that, this level was okay to go through.

Cobra sez:You remember 8-4 from SMB1? The deisgner does, or at least the layout order of it, anyway. Then it degrades into a massive dodge-fest. One millisecond off in your timing and you will be ripped to shreds. Oh, there is an extra life available via Dragon Coins in this stage. You'll only lose 47 lives getting them, but that's a fair exchange, right?

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Fri Nov 21, 2014 7:37 pm
by SnifitGuy
Yes! I made top 20 of the most insulting contest ever!

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Fri Nov 21, 2014 8:58 pm
by Imaynotbehere4long
DarkMatt wrote:
Spoiler: show

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...did you seriously turn around and walk toward the shell sprite-swap that you clearly saw coming toward you? This isn't Dragonmaster146's Thriller; that shell was well choreographed, even after it was kicked. I'm beginning to think that you just suck at avoiding kicked shells but refuse to admit it and blame the level designers instead.
DarkMatt wrote:I thought square lava was bad but then I saw square water
Planet of State had square water, and you didn't complain then; why the sudden shift in preference?
DarkMatt wrote:if one chopped off the first half off
You should chop off an "off" from this phrase.

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Fri Nov 21, 2014 9:01 pm
by Superiorstar
I swear Imaynotbehere4long do you even know what a JOKE is?
Jess you take everything too seriously.

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Fri Nov 21, 2014 9:07 pm
by Imaynotbehere4long
@ Superiorstar:

I guess not. To me, it just seemed like DarkMatt thought that the shell kicker was a bad level design choice--wait, are you implying that DarkMatt is making fun of himself? That would explain a lot.

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Fri Nov 21, 2014 9:11 pm
by JupiHornet
When are we gonna have a rap/insult battle between DarkMatt and IMNBH4L?

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Fri Nov 21, 2014 9:42 pm
by DarkMatt
Imaynotbehere4long wrote:the shell sprite-swap that you clearly saw coming toward you? This isn't Dragonmaster146's Thriller; that shell was well choreographed, even after it was kicked. I'm beginning to think that you just suck at avoiding kicked shells but refuse to admit it and blame the level designers instead.
Shit may be a dramatic re-enactment. What of it, nerd?

What the fuck was Planet of State again? Oh. That level. There were more pressing matters. If I went and picked apart everything in a level, then it wouldn't be half-minute criticism now would it?

And finally FUCKSHIT.
Turtwig wrote:When are we gonna have a rap/insult battle between DarkMatt and IMNBH4L?
That's,

actually a good question.
Imaynotbehere4long wrote:@ Superiorstar:

I guess not. To me, it just seemed like DarkMatt thought that the shell kicker was a bad level design choice--wait, are you implying that DarkMatt is making fun of himself? That would explain a lot.
Well I certainly don't take anything you say seriously considering how much of a busta you are.

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Fri Nov 21, 2014 10:16 pm
by Imaynotbehere4long
DarkMatt wrote:Shit may be a dramatic re-enactment. What of it, nerd?
My point is that what you tell us (that the shell kicker is placed in an unfair spot) is different than what you show us (you intentionally moving Mario to his death), and that negatively affects your credibility.
DarkMatt wrote:If I went and picked apart everything in a level, then it wouldn't be half-minute criticism now would it?
That's true, but I have two things to say about that:

1) The way you wrote your review of Scarlet Spatial Sewers made it seem like that was the first time you ever saw square water.

2) You could have added something like "Oh, and square water looks bad." at the end of your review of Planet of State, and it would have still been shorter than your review of One More Overless (not to mention shorter than plenty of other reviews in that thread).
Turtwig wrote:When are we gonna have a rap/insult battle between DarkMatt and IMNBH4L?
To be honest, I'm not very good at insulting or rapping, but what I can do is point out flaws and inconsistencies. That's why I decided to become a Level Judge.

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Fri Nov 21, 2014 10:36 pm
by Chip Potato
Imaynotbehere4long wrote:... and that negatively affects your credibility.
This thread is literally called "DarkMatt Plays Your Levels and Insults You". Where did you get the idea that credibility matters here.

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Fri Nov 21, 2014 10:46 pm
by Imaynotbehere4long
fireflowerhour wrote:
Imaynotbehere4long wrote:... and that negatively affects your credibility.
This thread is literally called "DarkMatt Plays Your Levels and Insults You". Where did you get the idea that credibility matters here.
Okay, I guess I'm not the best when it comes to word choice, but my reasoning is that DarkMatt is supposed to be making fun of the levels as opposed to twisting the truth for the sake of maybe a joke; the insults aren't funny if they aren't justified.

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Fri Nov 21, 2014 10:52 pm
by DarkMatt
Imaynotbehere4long wrote:
fireflowerhour wrote:
Imaynotbehere4long wrote:... and that negatively affects your credibility.
This thread is literally called "DarkMatt Plays Your Levels and Insults You". Where did you get the idea that credibility matters here.
Okay, I guess I'm not the best when it comes to word choice, but my reasoning is that DarkMatt is supposed to be making fun of the levels as opposed to twisting the truth for the sake of maybe a joke; the insults aren't funny if they aren't justified.
It's not to the point where I'm making shit up. By that logic, you think Leeroy Jenkins is worthless because it's staged. (It is. Look it up, they did not record on the fly. They set up something that happened to them.)

That shell will punish people who immediately look at where they ended up and don't notice there's a fucker with a shell, or if they move left to hit the ? block. For the player just going forward, that shell probably won't be a problem. For those who get distracted, like most people including myself, that's a dick move.

There. You got your joke explained. The magic's ruined because of you. I can't believe I just went and broke down a situation stacked against the player just because you've been such an asshat about things like that.

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Fri Nov 21, 2014 11:12 pm
by Imaynotbehere4long
DarkMatt wrote:That shell will punish people who immediately look at where they ended up and don't notice there's a fucker with a shell,
That seems like a bit of a stretch, but okay.
DarkMatt wrote:or if they move left to hit the ? block.
Then show that instead! Problem solved.
DarkMatt wrote:For those who get distracted, like most people including myself, that's a dick move.

There. You got your joke explained.
Ohhhhh, that explains it, alright. Thanks.

By the way, have you thought of making your own dummy hud so that you can play the levels in Start Game and therefore be able to pause whenever you get distracted? That might decrease the number of unfair design choices you encounter. ;)

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Sat Nov 22, 2014 8:16 am
by Kyo
Spoiler: show
Imaynotbehere4long wrote:
DarkMatt wrote:That shell will punish people who immediately look at where they ended up and don't notice there's a fucker with a shell,
That seems like a bit of a stretch, but okay.
DarkMatt wrote:or if they move left to hit the ? block.
Then show that instead! Problem solved.
DarkMatt wrote:For those who get distracted, like most people including myself, that's a dick move.

There. You got your joke explained.
Ohhhhh, that explains it, alright. Thanks.

By the way, have you thought of making your own dummy hud so that you can play the levels in Start Game and therefore be able to pause whenever you get distracted? That might decrease the number of unfair design choices you encounter. ;)
You're the reason this topic isn't as fun as it should have been. Please stop. Both, posting here and taking everything so seriously.

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Sat Nov 22, 2014 8:29 am
by RudeGuy
DarkMatt wrote:This really has a lot of similarities to another level I played back in the previous DMPYLAIY. This accomplishes quite a bit with its graphics and it has quite the considerable length, but some parts of the levels I did not like going through.
What was the level? Just wondering.

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Sat Nov 22, 2014 12:29 pm
by Zeldamaster12
Jeez, you guys are taking all of this way too seriously.

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Sat Nov 22, 2014 7:00 pm
by meowflash
DarkMatt wrote:

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Run while You Still Can
The bastard who made this: meowflash

Gameplay: 0/5
Aesthetics: 0/5
i maek gud music Bonus: 0/5

FINAL SCORE: 0

DarkMatt sez:A 3-year-old could make a more engaging level than you. I'd also like to believe you cannot work technology at all so you just loaded up WAV Recorder and tried to make the bestest song you can.

Kyo sez: lmao okay, so i'd say... no, id rather ask if that meowflash recording his voice
You gave me a 0? That's it! You're gonna pay, DarkMatt, or should I say, "Devil Matt"!

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Sat Nov 22, 2014 7:05 pm
by DarkMatt
I'm still waiting for an answer to my question.

Also name calling is rude.

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Sat Nov 22, 2014 7:18 pm
by meowflash
DarkMatt wrote:I'm still waiting for an answer to my question.

Also name calling is rude.
I used Sound Recorder on Windows 8!

Also, I'm not your friend! I really don't like you! Neither does Tom from my Neighborhood!
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Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Sat Nov 22, 2014 7:37 pm
by Mable
Place 25 is something though better then the last time. Also gonna save that sanic gif for something.

Also the threads name is that he insults you. So whats the deal geeze guys.

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Sat Nov 22, 2014 8:23 pm
by DarkMatt
meowflash wrote:
DarkMatt wrote:I'm still waiting for an answer to my question.

Also name calling is rude.
I used Sound Recorder on Windows 8!

Also I hate you and so does my imagineary friend so feel bad!
That explains everything.

I'm gonna take my $20 winnings from, "You used WAV Recorder," and place another $10 on, "You had to ask for help to install anything on your computer."